You are never going to attain perfection. We keep searching for something called “perfect” in our jobs, in our homes, in our relationships, & in ourselves. This doesn’t exist. We are human, we are inherently flawed, and there is no reason to try to be perfect. Breathe in. Breathe out. Let go of this expectation you or social media or some other source has brought into your life. Get rid of this notion of perfection – get rid of the thought that life has to be at a certain level or a certain way in order for you to be proud of yourself or proud of your accomplishments or simply be…happy. It’s good to have a standard, it’s good to have goals, and it’s okay to have expectations…but it’s whenever these expectations and goals become a fixation, or unattainable, or unreasonable that we begin to self sabotage our happiness and our success. You should never have attachments to your expectations and to your goals. Don’t have a plan that you are rigidly attached to and don’t give yourself the delusional belief that this plan is going to play out as you desire it and that nothing is going to change your trajectory. This is a self-sabotaging belief system that lands people into feeling miserable instead of being happy about their achievements and their lives. Again, it’s good to have plans and goals and to strive to become the best version of yourself…but attachment to this plan and goal is not healthy. A plan should be able to be changed, and your end result should also be able to be changed, too. You shouldn’t become attached to a desire for something in the future. You need to know that nobody is perfect, and it’s okay if your plans or end results change. People grow, people change their minds, people learn things that may alter their decisions. So, take the pressure off yourself and be patient and be grateful. Accept that life is going to happen, things that you can’t control will pop up and that’s okay, too. And you should never allow anyone (including yourself) to beat you up about it because that’s out of your control and life is messy. All of this is common sense, but sometimes we forget all of this. We get so caught up in the ne plus ultra of ourselves or our lives we that we not only sabotage our current happiness, but we set ourselves up for disappointment in the future. And for the love of cheese, stop comparing yourself to other people, stop comparing your life to someone else or to your la-la-land version.
Every single day we make decisions – every second, minute, and hour. Every single decision is going to add up; it’s going to link together and create an intricate web that leads to your current and/or future state of being. Which is why, every time we make a decision, we need to be mindful and careful. We have to ask ourselves: is this decision going to benefit me now and in the future? Is what I am doing today going to get me to the be the person I strive to be? No, we can’t reach perfection – that notion should be shattered by now. However, we can definitely reach our reasonable goals if we take it one day and one step at a time, and allow for mistakes, allow for changes, and allow for growing room.
5 Golden rules
- People WILL let you down. It has nothing to do with you – people are people and people are flawed. People’s actions and behavior are a reflections of themselves, not of you. People will never be what you want them to be and you should never be what others want you to be.
- You don’t have control over anyone or anything outside of yourself. The only power you have is over yourself and your own actions. The rest of the power is in fate’s hands (or whatever you want to call it). Your behavior and decisions have a ripple effect.
- Take responsibility. Your life is what you make it. If you don’t like something or you feel that you are unhappy in a current situation, you can change it. If you can’t change something, then you have to learn to change your mindset about it.
- Practice gratitude on a daily basis. Whether you win or you lose, you need to be grateful for everything. Be open minded and don’t be scared, you need to be ready for anything. If something goes wrong or you fail be grateful for the lesson. Be grateful for all of the loses because that means something better is out there for you. For every ‘closed’ sign in life there is an ‘open’ sign. If something goes your way and you win, then that’s fantastic.
- Don’t compare. The grass always seems greener on the other side. Someone else’s life might look shinier than yours, but you never know what happens behind closed doors and what those people are going through and how their life actually is. Your life is yours, you have to learn to accept that and love your own life with all of it’s flaws and all of it’s smooth or bumpy roads.
**And a bonus rule: listen to your gut, your instincts. They are much, much stronger than you can ever imagine.**
Go out there and create your life. You are the storyteller – you create the narrative and the plot of your own life.